Monthly Archives: May 2012

Over the past few months I have found myself applying to more jobs that I can possibly count. If forced to put a number on it, I would say that it is probably somewhere around 200. Maybe that isn’t a lot to you. Maybe that’s something normal for most people. I don’t know. What I do know is that is a lot of time wasted, especially considering that I have only heard back from maybe 3-5% of those jobs.

The sad part is, most of those responses were the same automated messages. I received the same exact email from a multitude of companies. If you have been applying for jobs within the past decade, you probably know exactly what one I’m talking about. You know, the one that says, “Dear so and so, We appreciate you taking the time out to apply for the (blank) position. However, after reviewing your application, we have decided to go with a more qualified candidate for the position. Do not fret. Please feel free to continue applying for jobs at our company, so we can send you this e-mail fifty six more times. Thank you, So-and-so.”

You mean to tell me that there are actual qualifications to be a Security Dispatcher at a University (besides being physically able to lift up a telephone and speak into it)? And that there are necessary qualifications to push around mail carts? etc.

You get the point.

I know that both of my degrees are next to useless alone. I know that without a Master’s degree or without a Teaching Certificate that they are about as useful as a degree in any of the three P’s (Psychology, Philosophy, Puppetry), but at least it shows that I went to school full time. At least it shows that I committed myself to something and it isn’t like I sat around twiddling my thumbs when I wasn’t in class. I was working. I lived a somewhat active lifestyle for someone that is relatively sedentary and isn’t that what college is all about? Isn’t it about proving that you are capable of applying yourself?  Because let’s face it, unless you’re a doctor or an engineer or something that requires an actual understanding of the content, you’re degree means the same thing as mine.

It means that you survived college.

It doesn’t matter if your degree is in Public Relations, or Advertising, or Business, or English, or History, because at the end of the day, they are all the same thing. We live in a world where the actual education part of your background means little to nothing. Sure, it can hurt you. It hurts to not have gone to college, but at this point in the game, it is just expected. It’s like when you’re 14 and you apply for a job at McDonalds. The only real qualification is that you’re 14 or older. If you want to be a cashier or something instead of flipping burgers, you might have to have cash handling experience, but really they’re just looking for you to meet that minimum qualification and that’s how jobs are now. It’s like the requirement of a bachelor’s degree is just the assurance that you’re 14 years or older.

The sad part is, I have working experience and an education and it still feels like it’s next to impossible to find something. These past few weeks I have found a few things that seem like they might be promising, but I can’t tell you how many times I applied to Rowan when I was in New Jersey or to ASU when I moved out here. I can’t tell you how many times I looked at a position and thought, man, that’s way below me, but applied anyway, because that’s where I wanted to work. For the record, I am not being narcissistic when I say that the position is below me. I’m not saying it like I am too good for the position, I am just saying that after spending the past seven years in college, after working with computers and technology over the past twelve years and after running an ice rink over the past eight years that I might be capable of pushing a mail cart around or answering a telephone.

I don’t know.

If I have learned anything through this entire process, it is that career sites like Careerbuilder and Monster are jokes. I have applied to random positions on those websites for months and the response rate is abysmal. I have modified my Cover Letters and Resumes to pick up minute details in each of their postings and still nothing. Lately, I have been watching Craigslist like a hawk, applying to nearly every position that gets posted and at least there, I am getting some hits. I’d say that I get responses from at least 50-75% of the posters, which is pretty nice. It’s nice to know that people are actually on the other end, reading your resume, especially after taking so much time scouring the internet trying to find something.

I have been fortunate enough to be in a position where I could wait until a suitable opportunity presented itself (at least I was in that position…), but the clock is ticking and it’s only a matter of time before this metaphor explodes. The good news is, I had a bunch of interviews this week, including a second interview today and I have another scheduled on Tuesday. So, there is still hope, but if those don’t work out, I might have to go downtown and walk from giant building to giant building, asking every office if they need their windows washed or their cacti watered.

For now, here’s a picture of Alexandra Breckenridge from American Horror Story.

P.S. You’re welcome.